Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th of July!!

We are not amused


They love the Fireworks!!! I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I love fireworks. I was afraid they would be afraid. Not one bit. They sat in my lap in complete awe of the bangs and the bright flashes of color.

As I sat there watching their excitement and wonder, I wasn't prepared for the wave of emotion that came over me. I sat there, stroking their silky hair, and sobbed. I had bought them outfits last summer for the 4th of July. I had bought Emma a little red dress with little flowers and Charlie little red plaid shorts with a white shirt that had a red stripe. I would have bought Katie a red dress to go with thier outfits. Instead, Charlie's outfit is packed away in a green tote with all of his other belongings and the girls wore new outfits that were completely different than what I had planned. It hurt. While the evening was wonderful, it hurt. Another first for them. Another first for us.

1 comment:

  1. So sorry for your loss three little beans...I too feel your pain. I am almost a year post still birth at 22 weeks. We have had four other miscarriages and have three beautiful children here with us. I always appreciate when others share their true, raw heart about grief. It is a long process that never really ends and my prayer is that each person on this journey knows that there are others of us that "get it" and I pray they are able to find strength to make it through each day.
    Thank you for sharing...
    My story is a work in progress at