My baby girls
so, I had to go back to work the week of Thanksgiving so, we decided to drive home for a weekend. What is normally an 8 hour drive took 11 hours with the girls. Quite frankly, they were wonderful. They slept or hung out in their carseats. It was the stopping to feed them every three hours that took up the bulk of time. Each stop took about an hour. Which then extended the trip and forced us to stop three times. However, overall, the trip was wonderful. We had a little open house for the girls so that my family and friends could meet them. I think for being who I am I did okay. I made sure everyone washed their hands and used hand sanitizer. I didn't let any kids hold them. I tried to relax and let things go. At the end of the day, the three of us layed on my mom's futon and snuggled. We were all worn out. On Sunday we went to Derek's mom for "Thanksgiving" with our families. It was a way for us to celebrate with my inlaws, Derek's grandparents, and my family. It really was nice looking around and seeing all of the people so important to us.
I visited Charlie three times while I was there. I could have slept there if they would have let me. The saddness is still so raw and overwhelming. We took him flowers and a picture of his sisters. I'm very appreciative of everyone who visits him. I struggle with knowing he is all alone and cold. On our way out of town we stopped one last time. Leaving him that day was as hard as leaving him the day we buried him. I layed on his grave wailing. My tears left a puddle on the dirt. I keep saying this, but I ache for that little boy. I want my three babies in my arms, happy and healthy.
We have a lot to be thankful for. This truly has been the best and worst year of our lives.